Out Of My MindI just looked at my reflectionAnd asked the most bizarre question"Tell me, am I still alive?"I could have sworn as I walked away she whispered "no"So I must be losing my mindYou think my references to death are metaphoricalBut the truth of it is I really can't tellIf I'm breathing, if my hearts beatingOr if this is hellSo I drink, so I smoke, so the drugs keep me calm,If you were this sick you wouldn't think it was wrong.I love the way it feels to care and not be cared forJust like I love to break my bones and cut my skinI love the way he picks his weaponsI love every ounce of painThat's why I stay and choke back screams so he won't leaveI think I need someone to fix thisLife just isn't what I picturedThe suns an awkward lighting fixtureYou look so beautiful beneath the swelling moon
In ClosingWhat is the point in even trying?Life is a second in time that we spend dyingIt's not your fault that I want to stop fightingIt's my lack of confidenceDear, you can blame it on the lightingI just don't have anything left to giveI just don't have any drive left to live
MarionetteI'm a puppet held up on thin stringYou orchestrate my movementsOh, are you entertained?I live at your hands, die by your knifePlay by your rules, never win a fightI'm a cheap imitation of everything you wantSo you let my memory hauntBut my strings are so easy to cutAnd the love that I have has never been enoughI keep playing the sad marionetteFor a boy with no heart in his chestWhy do I dance on a stage of regret?Is this it, punishment, am I dead?
No More PotentialI cut the curtain of respectThat has become a mere formalityBehind it laid a reflection of regretI was disgusted by my own sick mentalityThought there was hope in every stepBut life has become a faithless brutalityThis place just screams out hellHow can it be reality?
All I NeedIt's hard to know the truth that someone will never speakWhen you yourself are too a liar so you pretend that you believeAnd everyday it's getting harder but you just can't see love leave;You zip your lips, your heart is his and that is all you really need.
The World We Live InWe live in a world of conscious sinnersWhere love is the most common lieWe bend the rules with every stepTo make life worth it when we die
Dear GodShould I find it disturbing that I'm so far from myself,Placing my morals beside my heart on a shelfAnd praying the devil will provide us good health?Or should I simply accept that minds change just the sameAs every bone in our body and crease across our face?Where do you draw the line between love and faith?Is it one or the other or can I find some escape?No, I've looked at this every which wayAnd I can say in all honesty;If this is not who I'm supposed to beThen go ahead and stop me.
ScapegoatIf I could guarantee you'd never hurt againWould you commit to life 100%?You are so pessimisticAnd I don't want to pretendThat life is all good but it could be better spentSo let that frown melt away as I take your shaking handYou've been the scapegoat of the yearBut we're about to shake that trend
Happy New YearSet your goals and raise a glass to good things that never last,I'd be out the door tonight if I weren't such a sucker for the past.
I am.I am.I am the person who lives.I am the person who loves.I am the girl who cries to sleep at night, wishing I could be prettier.I am the boy who is trying to live up to everyone else's expectations other than my own.I am the invisible who linger in the hallways.I am the person who bullies to feel better.I am the parent who gave up after my child went to jail.I am the daughter who works at fifteen because my parents can't.I am the person who is bullied for being different.I am the person who lives because I don't know what happens after death.I am the woman who is hit on every day because of my looks, making them more of a curse thena blessing.I am the man who took steroids to be stronger and now am discarded by society.I am the child who was forgotten.I am the broken.I am the hero.I am the villain.I am the takers.I am the givers.I am the deserving.I am the bullied.I am the pressured.I am the suffering.I am the surviving.I am the wishers.I am the dreamers.I am
prophet-bone(You speak of the sea in colors and ash,but I never felt condemned)deserts crack your lips,spilling sand past snake-bite handswhile you preach of how god brings rain.I have to wonder when the last timewas that you had a solid drink of air.Or perhaps you are too full:hot air balloons to journey up to ceilingswhere you spill horizon eyes to be.
phoenix girlThere is a mother inside of me,calling the ink and the summersto blanket the cardinals nestingwithin the embers of her smile.Never have I thought myself maternal(I care for my wailing spinewith the distaste of smoker lungsatop a writhing beauty’s lips)but perhaps our birdsong is relatedbecause she sings the same, sweet tune as Ibut from the comfort of a frostbitefar deeper than my own.There is a mother inside of me,and I do not question why or how…but I’ll nest in her regardless,beneath the embers of her smile.Who knows… perhaps she is a phoenix.
Night PoemsWhen darkness falls,It is on those never-ending nightsThat the illusions of the night come.Whether good or bad, forgotten t not,They inspire those dreaming or left awake.When one is unable to sleep these never-ending nights,Then it is soon to come,The inevitable creation of night poems.Never to know what is really writtenUntil the morning comes, it reveals.Death hiding behind every line,Emotions poured into every word,And hidden meanings yet to be found.What may be written is endlessBut there is only one thing that is for sure.Before the never-ending nights are over, there will always be them,Night poems, the poems of the mysterious nights,And they shall never be forgotten.
Blood Stained VanityAlone,Shaking calmly in a cold sweat,Cross legged on bed, head in hands,A stuttered breath:“Stop”Nails begin scraping flesh and bone,Hair tearing to get at the thoughts,Biting lip to bear the pain, and stop the tears,Yet a part wants it to continue,Wants it to grow,To consume,Until there’s nothing left.In the dark sat in utter loathe,Blood stained vanity and silent screams,Tearing mind from inside out,Until it shows upon flesh.Breaking words only to self,No desire to burden others,Facing it alone,Or at least,Trying.Apologies to all of caring heart,Inner conflict never a quick war,Peace though found in your comfort,Great peace, and happiness,A resolution only found in self,And until it is and mind settled,Nights of terror and pain will sadly occur.Apologies.
Poems of DeathDark RoomHere in this dark roomI sit in the gloomThey left me here all aloneWith nothing to do but moanI can hear Death's callI think I'll end it allDeath's CallI can hear Death's callInto his arms I want to fallI'll be out of this messThere'll be no more stressIn the light of the moonI'll be home very soonRot To The BonesIn this coffin I'm all aloneLeft to rot away to the boneIts quiet and dark in hereI'm at peace, there's nothing to fearSo leave me aloneWhile I rot to the boneI Wouldn't Be HereMy skin feels cold to the touchI long for warmth so muchWhen I feel hot flames licking at my skinI wonder what was my sinI fear into sleep I fellBecause it looks like I'm in hellIt felt like I was flyingBut i guess I was dyingThey must have burred meBecause dark was all I could seeIf I hadn't jumped I wouldnt be herePressed against the wall in fear
To Be AnorexicYou wouldnt understand. To compare yourself with others who are skinnier or fatter constantly; to feel the shame at knowing youre larger and the satisfaction at knowing youre thinner; to deprive yourself of the nourishment your body craves; to acknowledge you control your bodys cravings; to find pleasure in that thought; to dread stepping on the scale yet have a compulsion to do so; to cry if weight has increased or failed to change; to smile when the number goes down; to find beauty in the peeking bones beneath your pale skin; to admire the sunken, hollow eyes; to envy a corpse; to strive for perfection; to never know hunger; to set limits and count calories; to judge others; to slide your fingers down your throat and purge; to lay on the shower floor and sob; to achieve a numbness of emotion; to focus only on food; to avoid focusing on food; to black out for minutes; to collapse in class; to be too weak to stand; to wither away; to freeze from the inside out;
UnwantedNobody sees herNobody caresNobody would noticeIf she disappearedThey don't see her cryDon't see through her liesIf she were lying deadThey'd just pass her by
Suicide ListJump off a bridge,Slit your wrist,Do everything onThe suicide list.Put a gun to your head,A noose on your neck,Shove those pills down your throat,And your suicide list? Check.They say that they love you.They say that they care.They say they'll be there for you,But are they ever there?They wear their fake smiles,You wear your mask.They say you're fine.They never ask.So, jump of a bridge,And slit your wrist.You're dead anywayWhen they find this.
Remember MeWhen I die,remember who I was,not who I could have been
FIX ITfix it!i said, FIX IT!fix my coroted* soul! the one you've createdfix up the holesthe deep puncturesthe painful blows! you've inflicted in my soul!fix it!fix it so my heart will stop hatingyet lovingyou...patch up the woundsand cutsstitch themfix themrebuildmy broken soulbring back my dreamswipe awaymy tears
Her disguiseBruises on her arms Make up on her face How can such beauty go to waste?Swollen eyes Moist cheeksFalter after falter she becomes more weak..Over and over she tells her liesHer secret.Her disguise.
Never AgainNever again will i trust so willinglyNever again will allow someone to break me againTo bind me with chains to themTo let vines with thick thorns grow around my heartTo love so muchTo be crushed again like another bug on the wallMy heart was long ago brokenThere are so many piecesI cant put it back togetherSomebody help meSomebody help me pick up the piecesBut nobody willAll that helps is the razor on my skinThe blood that drips drips dripsThe drops turning to flower pedals floating in the windSo prettyWhy are they fading away?Death comes on skeleton wings spread high
IsolationA hundred buildings,A thousand cars,A million faces,And a billion lights.Yet,As you walk throughThis crowded city,With so many peopleAnd so many things,You are always alone.
Death Is Your FriendConfusionHurtSadnessPainIn this small room I'm going insane.Walls closing in around me so tight.Wishing somebody would turn on a light.Whispering voices floating in the air.Invisible eyes that only seem to stare.Cuts on my wrists and blood on the ground.As much as I scream I don't make a sound.Tears fall down my face as I collapse to the ground.Maybe if I cry enough I might drown.The voicesThey speakThey tell lies.They say this is the place I'm going to die.They taunt me.Tease me.Laugh at me too.They whisper in my ear "theirs not a thing you can do."I scream.I swear.I rip out my hair.The voices just tell me "nobody cares.""They do!" I scream as I fall to the floor.I curl in a ball because I just can't take anymore.I sniffle.Cry.Cover my eyes.I guess the voices didn't lie when they said I would die.I hope when I'm gone it wont be like this.Because this is something I defiantly won't miss.I know it's my time and this is the end.At these times they say "D
False TrialHe hates this place,To them he is a disgrace.He looks around,Then down at the ground.Not guilty of the crime,Wrong place, wrong time.A tear rolls down his face,This shouldnt be his case.They shove him in the small room,There he waits for his doom.Death penalty.He closes his eyes so he wont see.He thinks "this shouldnt be me."He didnt hurt that helpless child,He was just a witness at the while.He tryed to save her because she was hurt,And her blood got stained onto his shirt.He has to die for a mistake,He knows he didnt make.One, two, three he closes his eyes,Feels the shock, then dies...
I'm no damsel in distressOnce upon a time(Isn't that how all the stories start?)Well hers was a little different(But I still know it by heart)A beautiful princess(Isn't that who all the stories star?)Well she sure was beautiful(Just not the way they are)They are damsels in distress(Locked away in towers)But no prince came to save her(And she would wait no more hours)She wasn't weak(She stood up tall)She saved herself(And showed them all)She lives on free(Her story remembered to this day)No one had to save her(She found her own way <3)
emptynothing in my closetnothing in my fridgenothing in my mindnothing in my heart
I'm SickI'm sick of liars never getting caughtI'm sick of karma never catching upI'm sick of every little bitch like youWho screws the world and thinks they'll never get screwed